Our guide to Planning your own Wedding.

Planning a wedding is a huge task; just organizing so many people to be in one place is challenging enough but when you add in all of the decisions and choices that have to be made, help is needed and that is where we come in!

The Wedding Whispers guide to Planning your own Wedding is a valuable source of reference along with your regular copy of Wedding Whispers. We have included the most important aspects that go into planning a wedding and also a specially designed budget planner to help you keep on track. We hope you will find our planning guide useful because, when you are to star in your own special show you’ll need the help of a supporting cast……

Our Top Tips for Getting Started.

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Remember that your family and friends are the important source of support, advice and financial help. Weddings are family occasions and you will be amazed to find a wealth of knowledge and creativity in your immediate circle.

Planning your Wedding – You need to get organised!

Some weddings can be 18 months in the planning and making and yet others can be organised a few short weeks. However long it will take you will need to set out a basic plan; how much you think it will cost, what amount you are prepared to spend and if any help will be needed from your respective families. It is estimated that, nowadays 70% of couples pay for their own wedding and that weddings can cost as much as a year's salary. But it does not have to cost a fortune!

If you are lucky enough to have financial help from your families, it is sensible to have a clear understanding of what they will help with at the beginning of your planning process. For example, your Mum may want to pay for your wedding dress so it is a good idea to let her know what the cost could be, as wedding dresses have increased in price somewhat since your parents were married!

Using our planner, get an overview of what is involved and how many services you may need to organise your own wedding. Decide what it is you both want; a small intimate family celebration or a large wedding with lots of family plus friends. Once this has been decided check what type of help is available from family and friends then estimate what you will have to pay for. It is worth spending a lot of time on this as weddings can cost as much as a years salary! But remember, it does not have to cost a fortune!

Decide the type of ceremony you want.

Where the actual marriage ceremony takes place will depend upon what you both want. Most marriages, have traditionally taken place in a religious building or the register office, but in recent years many hotels and other premises have been approved for civil marriages. Your religious beliefs and also perhaps those of your parents will decide the type of ceremony you will have.

What are Approved Premises?

These are venues that have been approved for civil marriages. These are most likely to be hotels but could be a boat! This option has become available within the last few years and there are many beautiful locations; from country houses to stately homes and hotels to castles.

For further information speak to either your local church minister or the Superintendent Registrar and ask for their advice. The Register Office has very good and up to date information on their website www.gro.gov.uk you will be able to find basic information on  all the 'approved premises' on the site plus information on what you need to do to organise a religious ceremony.

Getting married in approved premises can be a very convenient way of combining the ceremony with the reception. Most offer suites that cater from as few as 10 guests to up to 500. It can be that the organization on the day is easier; most have in house wedding co-ordinators and staff to help on the day; although you would be wise to check this out as each establishment varies, and find out exactly what the in house co-ordinator will do.

You may find that some venues will offer packages that include items such as the cake and flowers and possibly a complimentary room for the bride and groom. You would also be wise to check all small print and find out if there are any hidden charges and what exactly the venue will charge you for.

Planning Your Guest List.

The cost of the reception is likely to be the most expensive item on your planner so you need to look at your guest list. The number of family and friends for both yourself and your partner can add up. The final cost of the reception will depend upon the number of guests you both want to invite which could mean that the small inexpensive wedding you both envisaged is no longer practical.

If money is no option you can quite literally have 'a ball', however, if money is tight or you simply prefer to spend what you do have on a romantic honeymoon or perhaps your new home, look at your guest list again. Do you really need to invite someone you have not seen for years? Weddings though are special family occasions, so chat to your parents and see if there is anyone they particularly want to ask or not! If they are willing to contribute towards the cost of the reception then you may not have to prune the list too drastically. However find out how many guests there will be before you choose the venue for the wedding reception.

Choosing a Venue for your Wedding Reception.

Whatever you have set your heart on; it has to be practical for all your needs. Shortlist a few venues and either visit them or ring for their wedding packs. If you do decide to get married in Approved Premises, you will most certainly be expected to book their facilities for the wedding reception. If however your ceremony is to be held in a religious building or a register office you will have more flexibility over the choice of location for the reception.

If you plan to have an evening reception check that the function room will be available and what is included in the cost. Some couples can be anxious to book a dream venue for the date they want 12-18 months in advance and so can overlook  details, such as future price increases and VAT which may add up to a larger than expected bill.

The  key aspect of the wedding breakfast is of course the food. To prevent any disapointments, see if the venue will offer a trial menu tasting, although unless you are a 'celeb' whose wedding preparations are being filmed! this will probably be out of the question. However, visit the restuarant if there is one, to get an idea of the style, presentation and the quality of the meal.

Find Special rates and discounts for your Wedding Reception.

If you are happy to get married midweek (that is Monday to Thursday) or on a Sunday you will find special deals and discounts will apply. Check out Wedding Whispers for alternative ideas and special offers for the ceremony and reception featured in every issue.

Wedding Planners and 'On the Day' Co-ordinators.

These days most brides to be can organise a wedding without the help of a professional wedding planner, however if you don't have the time and can afford it  make sure you get a professional whose reputation can be verified or ideally have some level of qualification from a recognised body such as The Wedding Planner School. Generally a wedding planner will charge a fee for their services; this will vary from one wedding to another and the level of involvement you need. Wedding planners will use and seek discounts from wedding services on your behalf which can offset the basic fee of hiring them. 

A favoured option these days is  'on the day' co-ordination which means you get a PA for the day and which takes all the strain off you and your family. For this they will charge an hourly rate which could include; setting up the decorations in the venue, acting as a point of contact for all the guests and so on. They will meet with you prior to the day to ask what your needs are. Again, check that they are qualified and have attended a course such as those offered by the Wedding Planning School, see the wedding service directory for details.

Musical Influences.

You will need to ask either your Vicar if you are getting married in church, or the Registrar, if you are having a civil ceremony, what type of music is allowed; in a church religious music and hymns are fine but this is not so for a civil ceremony. Ask these questions as music is a very important element of the service. You may have a CD of music that means a lot to both of you. But you should organise someone to make sure that the right tracks get played at the right time! To find out about a live band, harpist or disco, ask for recommendations and a demo CD to listen to. Any form of entertainment will need space and time to set up their equipment so check this with your reception venue.

Alternative and Money Saving Wedding Reception Ideas

Have a late afternoon wedding and combine both your wedding breakfast with the evening reception. This is a useful way of catering for both your day and evening guests all at the same time.

Book the local village or church hall if you cannot afford the packages offered by the venues. However you still have to organize a caterer and possibly hire specialist furniture see Prestige Catering Hire in the directory. If you want to do this you probably already have family and friends that can help with the catering. Ask the booking clerk for information. For gorgeous covers to really jazz up plain chairs, check out South West Chair Covers.

For a small summer wedding have a picnic or barbecue in the garden. If your garden is large enough, hire mini gazebos that will house your guests in comfort and cope with any drastic change in the weather! If you can afford it hire in professional caterers and/or waiting staff.

Escape - Get Married Abroad!

One in ten marriages between UK residents now takes place abroad. This is not just to escape any family squabbles! but because it is cheaper and more convenient to do so. You also you have the added bonus of combining the wedding with the honeymoon.You can even get married on a cruise ship! The choice of romantic destinations has made weddings abroad more popular. It is estimated that 35,000 UK couples choose to get married abroad. Speak to your travel agent or simply locate the island you want to be married on to find out what their local laws are in respect of marriage.

Buying Your Wedding Dress

The traditional wedding dress is still the romantic dream of most brides to be. Whilst many girls feel that weddings have become too commercial and expensive the customary white dress is essential. If this is how you feel too and money is tight, organize a simple and inexpensive wedding so that you can spend more on the dress you want. Look out for special offers in Wedding Whispers; one bride to be told us that she saved over two hundred and fifty pounds with a voucher from the magazine.

There are simply hundreds of wedding dress styles you can choose from; gorgeous dreamy creations in tulle and chiffon to the classic satin skirt and embroidered bodice style. Your search for what is to be the most important dress you will ever wear, begins with a vision of how you want to look on the day. However keep an open mind when you visit the shop, you may be surprised.

Most shops have to order your dress at least 5-6 months in advance. Begin by short-listing a few shops and ring to find out what their system is; some shops don’t have an appointment system and others only work by appointment. Take your Mum or friend and try on. Wear a bra that fits you and shoes with the heel height you will wear on the day.

When you find the dress you want to order, expect to be asked for a deposit and in all cases the balance will have to be paid before the day.

If you are considering hiring some of your bridal wear such as bridesmaids dresses you may like to visit The Ivory Rooms in Weston super Mare who can show you an alternative selection of dresses suitable for special occasion wear and bridesmaids

Top Tip

If your dress is not made to measure then it is recommended that you find out what if any alterations will be required; how much these will cost and when your dress will be ready for you to have the final fitting.

Wedding Veils and Accessories

There are many beautiful veils to choose from. Try one when you have your gown fitting. Veils are fairly inexpensive unless they are couture. Some shops will have special offers on both the dress and veil and this will save you money. If you do decide to wear a veil make sure you tell your hairstylist and take it, and your tiara, with you when you have your trial run.

Your accessories can be as simple as you wish and need not be expensive. If you are looking for bespoke accessories, Bronwen Grover, Bespoke Finery in Bristol is a good choice. If your dress is to be plain and elegant you might want to wear a pair of very glamorous shoes and some pretty jewellery. A small beaded bag for carrying the essential items of cosmetics is ideal. Shoes have to be comfortable! The heel height should be suitable for your dress length and should also ensure that you will not tower over your groom!

If you are still seeking those special finishing touches such as hats and fascinators you should have a look at the designs by the very talented milliner, Ani Townsend from Bristol. See Ani Townsend in the wedding service directory. 

Bridesmaids Dresses and Accessories.

When you have worked out how many bridesmaids you want you should fix a budget for the cost of buying their dresses, shoes and accessories. The shop where you get your wedding dress from will also have a selection of bridesmaid’s dresses. Get everyone together for a shopping day and go and try some on. Set a budget for each bridesmaid and if you cannot afford to spend too much money then consider having fewer bridesmaids. Consider some of the High Street stores for gorgeous short chiffon dresses as an alternative choice for your bridesmaids.

Photography

The best advice we can give here is be prepared to pay more for a good photographer. The cost of a photographer can range from a few hundred to well over a couple of thousand pounds. You get what you pay for and most professional photographers will be happy to spend time with you showing their portfolio and finding out your needs.

Get to know your photographer before you book; visit their studio to see their work and find out how they work on the day. Are they likely to be bossy or too intrusive? Most of all you need to like your photographer! Book someone you get along with and who you think will get the best out of your guests too. Make sure they are members of a professional body and that their membership is up to date.

Some photographers like to visit the house to take formal photographs and then go onto the church. This though will depend upon their resources and the time of the wedding. If you live a good distance away from the church for example; there may not be time. If your wedding is in the morning, then time is already tight and this will be needed just to get ready.

You will also find most professional photographers are able to offer a full service of reprints, enlargements, unusual books and framed prints which will last for generations. Think about the style of photography you want, how you would like your photographs to be presented afterwards and then find a photographer that fits the bill.

If you have a friend who is, or know of, an amateur photographer, then consider this carefully; the cost of using an amateur may be tempting but she/he may not have the experience, service capability or the personality required for wedding photography. They may not be insured either so you could be taking a risk. Once you have chosen your photographer be prepared to pay a deposit and sign a contract of what he or she will do...

Wedding Transport

If you want to make a grand entrance and cannot borrow or own a car you will have to hire a specialist wedding car and there are many to choose from; vintage, sporty, classic and traditional Rolls Royce are just a few. You can even wing it in on a helicopter if you have the money and the nerve! Whatever you choose you may need more than one form of transport unless you are not too far from the venue or church. The general rule is that Mother and bridesmaids travel first, followed by the bride and her Father. A stretch limo is a good option for the groom and his best man. Some offer complimentary champagne for the couple to enjoy on their journey.

The Wedding Cake

There are many fabulous wedding cakes to choose from and you should expect to pay several hundred pounds for some of the most extravagant! This is one item that your friends or family could help with, but if not, see our exclusive wedding cake in the service directory; a three tier sponge wedding cake for less than £200!

Also, little cup cakes are so easy to make and look really pretty on a tiered cake stand decorated with rose petals. You may even find a vintage cake stand or ask for one as a present. Foil cases and decorations can be bought from most sugar craft shops.

Cheese cakes decorated with fruit are an alternative choice to the traditional fruit or sponge cake. The cheese cake can still be ceremonially cut by the bride and groom and then served with savoury breads, biscuits and jugs of celery. In most regions of the UK there will be a dairy from which you can buy a variety of locally produced cheeses and which can be assembled into a cheese cake the day before.

Top Tips for Your Wedding Flowers

Book your florist early. We recommend several florists because they are good at what they do. It is disappointing if your chosen florist is booked, so make a call and get your date booked. The details can be sorted out later if time is premium.

A glance at any bridal magazine will illustrate how many variations of flowers there are to suit both traditional and modern tastes. Flowers at a wedding are fairly essential and they can also be expensive, so decide how much you will spend. It is also a good idea to talk to your florist about the wedding dress you will be wearing so that she can advise on what type of bouquet will complement the overall style.

In every issue of Wedding Whispers you will find offers on wedding flowers from local florists and it is worth chatting through your ideas with them. Take photographs and remember to include corsages for the Mothers, buttonholes for the groom, best man and ushers and any church or reception flowers. If you are having flowers in your hair these will have to be wired by your florist. If you have help from family or a friend that is a trained florist then you could save some money. The more elaborate your bouquet, the longer it takes to assemble and this is reflected in the final cost. Simple hand-tied bouquets are however becoming very popular and are a good choice for both the bridal bouquet and the bridesmaid’s posies.

Morning Suit Hire.

Save money on Morning Suit hire with Wedding Whispers.
Your groom, his best man and other male guests including ushers and page boys may want to wear traditional morning suits along with a top hat. The most popular way of doing this is to hire from a specialist company. Look for a company that will visit and measure the male guests, and will deliver and collect the suits after the wedding. This is a convenient service and will save time and hassle. Otherwise someone is going to have to race around the next morning to get the suits back to the shop on the morning, as the groom might not feel like it!

Top Tip
Whatever you do choose, make sure all the male guests try on their attire before the day so that any problems with fit can be sorted out before the actual day. Don't be tempted to save time by ringing the shop with the measurements. Most good shops will insist the men try on the suits and there is a good reason for this; more problems arise on the day because the men have not tried them on beforehand. You just do not want this stress, do you?

Stag and Hen Parties

The weekend away is now almost the norm with most couples organizing a bash to celebrate their forthcoming nuptials and to signal the end of a single life! In recent years these have evolved from a night out at the local pub or a day at a health spa to fully organized trips abroad and activity weekends which include archery and clay pigeon shooting.

The job for organizing either the stag or hen party is traditionally that of the chief bridesmaid and best man. But with trips abroad and passports to organize, hen and stag parties are now much more involved. Check out Playaway Weekends in Bath, the Professional Stag and Hen Organisers who have great value packages throughout the UK & Europe.

Your Wedding Invitations and Stationery

You will almost certainly require a quantity of stationery; invitations, place settings, orders of service and thank you notes. There are several options here, the most popular being making these yourself.

What you choose you will almost certainly want to convey some of the style and theme of your wedding. If you intend to buy your own, most high street department stores have a selection of ready made invitations that are inexpensive to buy. There are also specialists in hand made stationery which don't cost the earth, have a look at Highly Inviting based near Bristol or Exclusively for You, based in Winscombe, Somerset. Remember to add in the cost of posting them and ask for RSVP so you can plan the final guest list.

Wedding Favors and Thank You Gifts.

For all your wedding favors, confetti and personalized chocolates go to the Wedding Whispers online shop www.wedding-whispers.co.uk for a selection and you get a 10% discount and nationwide delivery as well. Wedding favors are traditionally small gifts from the couple to the guests; containing chocolates, sugared almonds, soaps, candles and sweets for the children, there is a huge choice. You can save money if you make your own! Favours are very easy to make. Find a supplier for the boxes or nets and fill them with whatever you choose.

Party Themes and Wow Factors!

The finishing touches will make your wedding special and it is worth setting aside a budget early in the planning process for a whole range of decorative effects and ideas. For a themed party on a grand scale you will need an event planner to advise you and tell you how much you should expect to spend. Alternatively, simple decorative ideas can be stunning and inexpensive but whatever you do ensure that you set money aside early so that you have what you want. For balloons and special decorative effects, ring Party Perfect Events who will travel around the southwest.

A delicious new fun idea which will add the wow factor to any party is to hire a chocolate fountain. A variety of food from strawberries to fudge brownies can be dipped into choice of flowing milk, dark or white chocolate. The fountain can be a replacement for the dessert or even the wedding cake! Your guests will love it! The Chocolate Fountain Company will travel nationwide, see them on this website, just visit the Wedding Services Directory.

Your Honeymoon

The honeymoon is still an important consideration for most couples’ even if they have been living together for some time and have children! If a honeymoon is desired but money is tight you could consider asking for holiday gift vouchers from the tour operator you intend to use instead of wedding gifts. Guests would prefer to give a gift that is useful and this is a practical option for couples who have most of their domestic requirements sorted out.

Where to go is as mind boggling as the details that go into planning the actual wedding. You will find a tour operator on every UK high street, and it is easy to research possible ideas on the internet and get the honeymoon you both want at a price you can afford. With many UK couples opting to get married abroad, the location for the honeymoon is simple. One problem though is sharing this special time with all your invited guests!

Remember again to include in your initial budget planning, the cost of; getting to the airport, luggage, clothing, airport parking, airport hotel rooms, travel insurance and your spending money. You might decide that the honeymoon is more important and will keep everything else simple. You could even decide to postpone the honeymoon until you can afford it and/or have the time to go. It is your choice and with so many forms of celebrations and inexpensive wedding ideas to choose from, it is easier than ever to plan the wedding and honeymoon you both want.